Verse 1:
This is the story, of a crazy lady
Who was bringing up three kids of her own
All of them, were crazy like their mother
They didn’t have a home
Verse 2:
They had Dee's cleaning, and an A to Z store
When they decided to start up a pet shop
Body paint shop and a rummage sale
All their businesses were a flop
Verse 3:
We put up an ad, for some work of own
Of course the jack of all trades was the only one to call
New bathrooms, landscaping, and carpentry
She had done it all
Verse 4:
Until one day when the lady met a fellow
He was scrawny and only weighed fifty pounds
They decided, to build a swimming pool
It didn’t matter that it wasn’t level ground
Verse 5:
It didn’t matter, as long as she got her sand
From a check she already knew would bounce
Every day, the police stop up there
They know they’ll need to, when they make their rounds
Verse 6:
We had sum pup corn, when the college student
Thought he would try the popcorn treat
But they were for the barn cats, ‘cause they were something
The dog wouldn’t even eat
Verse 7:
It cost forty five, dollars just to eat
At the country buffet when you’re sixty
Boots aren’t waterproof, when the waters on the inside
Of the boots apparently
Verse 8:
Snakes swimming around, in an ice chest of water
And a little girl that cuts out frog eyes
In the barn, they heard a little ruckus
But it was only a deer that broke inside
Verse 9:
A security camera, propped in the kitchen
To see who pulls into the driveway
They say Obama, will soon be up there
To fix the problems with the neighbors and stay
Verse 10:
Sparks lit a match, and sprayed the bees with hairspray
To set them on fire before they sting
Around the campfire, the mother’s new boyfriend
Was a famous country western that could really sing
Verse 11:
With a brain tumor, and a concussion
The ER Doc said his head had nothing there
His goal was to get fat, by buying Crisco and bear lard
But he didn’t know where
Verse 12:
She has an urn, for each child
In case the cancer suddenly starts showing signs
The lawn must be mowed, with duct taped flashlights
Everyday around midnight
Verse 13:
He had a hole in his head, from getting hit with a rock
We wondered just how many m&m’s would fit through
He said only four, unless they were peanut
Then probably only two
Verse 14:
The mother was arrested, and Steve ran away
He stabbed the door in the bathroom with a butcher knife
He was sent to the psych ward, all because he lost his job
And he was gunna take our life
Verse 15:
A zucchini, fresh from the garden
By law that’s all they say you need to eat for lunch
They’re the talk of the summer, Dee, Steve, Heather, and Hannah
That’s the way they all became known as the Buchanan bunch
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